Hi, my name is Alicia. I’m 30 years old, and I’m self-employed. Over the past nine years, I’ve turned my blog into a thriving business, and I’ve gotten the opportunity to partner with some of my favorite brands along the way. Before COVID, I got to see the world and was frequently on the road.
Despite being a boss babe in my own right, people love to bug me with two questions: when are you getting married, and when do you think you’ll get around to having kids?
I have one word to say to this: ugh. So today I’m sharing my thoughts on what it’s like being 30 without a husband or kids.
Being 30
Listen: there’s no shade here to any 30-year-olds who are reading this who are married and/or have had kids. I’m happy to be an auntie to all of my friend’s children and spoil them rotten! However, everyone works on their own timeline, and I know marriage and children aren’t for me at the moment, and I’d appreciate it if people stopped pressuring me to do so.
As far as Tom goes, he’s the best domestic partner a girl could ask for. We’ve been together for three years, lived together for the past two years, and we work really well as a unit. Do we see ourselves in it for the long haul? Yes. Do we think it’s time to get hitched? Not exactly. I’m working on my finances, and I want to make sure those are 100% in check before entering in a union with someone else. Plus, weddings are expensive, and with the pandemic, I don’t even want to think about it until we can safely celebrate with our families.
To be honest, I’m not sure if I even want kids. I just know that I don’t want them right now. My opinions might change about this in a few years, or I might have the same feelings later on down the road. Who knows! All I’m sure of at the moment is that I’m content exactly where I am. I’ve been able to grow my business without children, and I’m living comfortably. Once COVID is over, there are still so many places that I want to explore, and some business goals that I still want to accomplish. I don’t see children in my life in the next five years or so.
And to be frank, health insurance for self-employed people is pretty garbage, and I don’t want to go into debt having a kid either. One of the many reasons why I’m voting early in this upcoming election so that we can work towards a better healthcare system in the U.S.
One thing I’ve noticed as well? Tom doesn’t get these questions nearly as often as I do. I hate that it’s socially acceptable for a man to be a bachelor well into his 30’s, but a woman who just turned 30 who’s still unmarried and doesn’t know if she even wants children gets picked apart. Can we please do better, society?
It’s okay if women aren’t married and don’t want to have kids either. That’s not all that we’re put on this earth for. Keep shining, do what you need to do, and know that there’s no right or wrong way to live.
Photos by Tom McGovern
What are your thoughts on being 30? Let me know in a comment below!
Ugh indeed! I got married young, but we waited almost 10 years after that to have kids. There was also a miscarriage in there. I got the “when are you having kids?” Question alllll the time. And then when we were pregnant and telling everyone, I had a family member say they thought we didn’t want kids because “it took so long”. And now, everyone is asking when baby #2 is coming. People. Are. The. Worst.
You keep living that boss babe life and ignore the ridiculous nosy people who “mean well”, but actually suck.
YES GIRL SPEAK YOUR TRUTH. I think I change my mind about having kids every day. And I learned that it’s OK that I question wanting to become a mom or not. Even if I did, it wouldn’t be for YEARS. But I totally wish people would stop interrogating women about this subject!
Dana | It’s Casual Blog
Heard in my thirties, now hearing in my 40’s